wondering?

If you read my sister's blog post about our vacation and saw the pictures of all us girls, you may have been left wondering something:

Is she pregnant?

I am. :)

{Photo by Ian Johnson.}  Baby bump at 4 weeks, 6 days. Stop it with your internal dialogue about the possibility of twins. I've carried two 9-lb babies and this is technically my fifth pregnancy. My ab muscles are shot, and my uterus is clearly an overachiever.

Truthfully, I was pretty shocked that she posted these pictures. Take a peek at our facebook convo:
Me: Ju! I just saw your blog! Do you not think I look huge in those pics???

Her: Um, Sister. I did not think you looked big at all until you wrote this and then I stared at your tummy in the picture and did a happy giggle. I think a person would have to stare right at your tummy to notice. And then it just looks pregnant. :) hehe.

and then later on, she wrote: i just looked at my blog again and the pictures are totally making me laugh now. i'm really sorry. I honestly thought those looked pretty good compared to the ones where you are displaying the belly that I saw alongside the group shots. Really sorry. But it is funny.

Based on her blog, I've already been asked if I'm pregnant so after thinking about it awhile and getting Nathan's blessing, I decided to just go for it and talk about it. :)

I found out on August 5th. I was only 3 weeks, 4 days at that point. I took the test at 2:00 a.m. and the line came so fast and was really dark for testing early. Wow!

I took it because my belly had popped out a couple days before that, and I thought that if it was because of pregnancy, it should show up on a test already. And if I wasn't pregnant, well then I needed to start a diet asap.

Thank the Lord I don't have to give up cookies.

We are so happy to be expecting again! If all goes well, I think my due date is around April 16th.

My first appointment is scheduled for next week. I'll be just a bit past 7 weeks at that point. We are praying for a strong heartbeat!

So, now that you know, will you please pray for us? At first I felt nothing but pure excitement, but last week it was like a switch was flipped and I have really been struggling with worry and fearing that we will have another loss. Every day is a battle. Every day feels like it's a year long...I just want my appointment day to come. It's difficult, but I'm trying to think more along the lines of "Today I'm pregnant! Today I'm thankful" and not worry about the next day and the one after that.
None of this is in my control. I am praying that the Lord's will be done in this baby's life and that I experience a peace that passes understanding as I rest in His goodness and love. This doesn't come easily or naturally for me, sad to say.

Thanks for reading and praying!