THE GOOD
1. Sophie is a sweet big sister. She gets so excited to see Talia every morning and says "Awww, you're a cute yiddle baby!" She also calls her "my Talia" and loves to help me take care of her. She will bring me blankets and diapers, etc. She's very interested in "milking her up" as she calls it, which I just think is funny. I do have to tell her lots of times during the day to get out of Talia's face, ("OK, she's had enough for awhile. Please don't touch her face. Let baby Talia sleep now"!) but I'm just happy there's so much sisterly love.
2. My husband is AMAZING and helps out so much. He will take Talia when she is wide awake in the night (thankfully it doesn't happen too often) and tell me to go sleep. He says we both have jobs to do during the day and that he appreciates all I do. He tells me I'm beautiful and that I'm doing great with the girls. He washes dishes. And he has taken both kiddos to IHOP. By himself. I haven't even taken them both anywhere!
3. We have been blessed with delicious meals from friends. I have yet to cook anything beyond a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.
4. Sophie and Talia have grandparents who love them and will help our family in whatever way we need.
5. Trying to put a positive spin on this...I've already started working again. I don't have ANY paid days since I'm a contractor, so we can't really afford for me to take a traditional 6 weeks off or anything like that. I first tried working again when Talia was 9 days old. Thankfully, I just have to go down to the basement--no commute, I can be in sweats, makeup free, and not feel embarrassed, and I can start/stop when I need or want to. It's pretty hard to work right now (at least for very long at a time) but I'll get there again someday. Medical transcription is also more difficult when your sleep-deprived brain is having trouble concentrating!THE BAD (and I will freely admit these things are not bad in proper perspective, but still...adjustments. I had a routine and things that worked, and now we are learning new ways to do things. For me, having 2 kids has been...tricky. Also, I do realize that I will miss these baby/toddler days and that I need to enjoy them for what they are right now.)
1. We have had a very hard time with Sophie but it's getting better. She has been defiant to us, telling us "no" or "not yet" when we tell her to do something. After adopting a zero tolerance policy, we've seen much improvement. She still cries daily and she asks for me all the time whenever someone else is helping her with something, but she's sweeter again. :) I have cried for her, thinking about how different everything is now. It was the two of us all day long for 2 years and 7 months!
2. Postpartum everything. The hormones, the night sweats, the emotions. Bleh.
3. Choppy sleep. Talia nurses every 2-3 hours, and it sure seems like mostly a 2-hour deal at night. (Chunky gained 1-1/2 pounds in two weeks!) My least favorite thing is changing her diaper in the middle of the night. She cries SO LOUD, and she doesn't build up to full volume, she just starts there. Ask anyone. Also, when you have two kids, you can't just sleep when the baby is sleeping during the day. It seems like every morning at 7-something, I'll nurse Talia, lay her back down, snuggle back under the covers, and then wake up to a little voice saying "I sleeped well. Can you do my breakfast tonight?"
4. I miss my friends. I miss going places during the day. I don't remember when I've spent this much time at home. I'm too chicken to take them both out right now, plus it's been freezing cold (better now!), and I had a checkup at 2 weeks where I was told to still take it easy and not walk a whole lot. Before Talia, Sophie and I went somewhere just about every day, so this is very different.
THE UGLY
1. I look pregnant. Hate that. My belly button even still pops out. My body didn't handle this second pregnancy as well. And maybe I can't expect to accommodate a 9-lb, 2-oz baby twice and not have some serious repercussions. With Sophie, no stretch marks. This time...Lord, have mercy. I look like I got clawed by an alley's worth of psychotic cats. I started wearing maternity clothes when I was like 8 weeks pregnant. I am LONGING to pack up those big stretchy clothes. And yet I do things like eat puppy chow for breakfast...
2. Our house. I mean, it's decent. We have clean dishes, clean laundry, and clean toilets. But we also have lots of clutter. I spell it t-o-y-s. OK, and piles of our miscellaneous stuff to organize and put away; can't blame it all on kids.
FITS UNDER ALL OF THE ABOVE...
My newly expanded collection of sweatpants, hoodies, and solid colored longsleeved shirts. Enough said.
And some pics:
Talia has moral support during tummy time. :) And that yellow kazoo? Driving me absolutely bonkers.
Sophie has had some fun playdates at our house lately. Here is a pic with her cousin, Olivia. They were so cute dressed up as princesses!
8 comments:
Oh Sharla!!! I completely understand everything you just wrote. Thanks for being honest. As for advice, hmmm... Everytime I think I have the hang of things I get pregnant again! You are an amazing mother, friend, and person! You have to remember Talia is barely over three weeks old! I mean seriously!!! Keep your head up and don't be too hard on yourself!
You are way too funny!!! So funny i cannot even think of what to say. Your are scarring me for two though!!
love this!! I am the 1st to say: there are bad days, REALLY BAD days, and pretty good days. I think it's just the nature of the beast w/ a newborn and a 2 1/2 year old!! You are doing GREAT!! Just think of the WORST that can happen if you go out and that it's totally handle-able! Start small (target ALWAYS works for me) and if need be LEAVE! :) Can't wait to see this cutie pie!
Should I have been laughing during this post?! I did love what you said about your hubby that is AWESOME!! I don't have two but I sure remember all the stuff you said in the BAD!I hated middle of the night diapy changes.
Sharla,
It sounds like you are doing great... I'm sure of that! Things are a little trickier with two, but you'll get used to it soon! It's great that you have some really good support and an awesome husband too!
There was a lot of "That's MY mommy" in our house when the second came around... now she's asking for another baby!!! Sophie will adjust too, probably sooner that you!!! I used to leave Aiden at home with daddy and take Sophie somewhere special a couple of times a month (especially when she got really whiny and possessive), that always seemed to help. We still do it sometimes.
Yeah, the 2nd baby is a little harder on body, but you'll get there... it just takes a little longer the second time around!!! give yourself a little bit of a break- you deserve it!
Sharla, Just stopping by to offer some support and tell you that the first year with 2 kids is really, really hard but it WILL get better. I had my daughter when my son was not quite 2, and I remember the double diaper changes (down to just one now!) and post-partum stretch marks and non-stop nursing and exhaustion and relative isolation. Take advantage of babysitters when you can, and don't feel bad about ordering take-out for dinner. That's my advice :)
Susan (your cousin Stuart's wife...)
Hey Sharla ~ Hang in there! I think so many moms can relate to everything you said. I can remember when kid #2 turned one, and Dave and I both agreed that was probably the worst year of our lives. But it will get so much better. Really it will.
The transition from one to two children is the hardest one to make! (we now have four) I'm convinced that our second one didn't sleep until she was five months old. It does get easier. Your oldest will adjust. Once you get past all of those yucky hormones life will seem so much brighter!
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