One recent evening, I was sitting on the floor, rocking Gemma in her car seat to keep her asleep after an outing while I ate my delish, colic-friendly dinner of buttered pasta and unseasoned green beans. I was pretty upset because of a rough day, and kinda bitter about my current boring activity. :) Then my eyes landed on a book my mom had given me right after Gemma was born. I picked it up and flipped through it while still rocking that car seat. One page made me teary eyed (bold print by me; it's especially meaningful!):
I knew you would love this precious baby...I chose this one especially for you. I'm so excited to see you grow together because I know you are going to be the best mom this child could ever hope for.
But I also know there will be days you will question this. In your weariness, you may wonder if you have what it takes to be the kind of mom you want to be. Trust me...you do. I know because I created you perfectly for each other. So when those moments come...and they will...remember that as faithful as the sun and moon are to rise in the sky, so I am faithful to you. I am always on duty, 24-7, so you can always count on me to be there for you! In the busyness of your day and at every nighttime feeding...I will never leave your side.
Know in your heart that I have peace to give you in times of chaos and joy in the midst of the mundane. I have wisdom above and beyond your imagination that is simply yours for the asking...and I never break my promises. I will be your best cheerleader and blessing giver. When you feel like running away...run into my arms and I will hold you as my precious child just like you do yours.
Looking forward to our visits,
Your Ever-Present God and Father
{From HeavenSent Baby by Karla Dornacher}
I thought it was hilarious the last paragraph mentioned running away, because sometimes I honestly want to! There is so much crying/screaming/fighting in this house that it gets positively maddening.
I feel like I have failed sweet Gemma and it has driven me to the breaking point that I've done everything I can think of to help her, and I guess we're at the best it's going to be for awhile until her system matures with time. Medically she's fine, the chiropractor has dismissed us after 13 visits, and she's taking a probiotic. So, I loved the part about how God has peace, joy, and wisdom to give us. Those are things I don't have on my own.
Also, here's a song we sang last Sunday that made me teary. I've been playing this video and singing along today, trying to learn all the lyrics. {Memorization doesn't come as easily as it once did. #sideeffectofbeingamom}It's a great song to have stuck in your head!
This beautiful baby girl is a blessing! Please pray for continued adjustments around here and that I will actively seek the Lord daily to help me be the kind of momma these girls need!
6 comments:
Oh my goodness, I love those words!! It must be a rough season for all my close mommy friends b/c so many of my closet friends and I are right with you. It seems that motherhood we KNOW is the BEST thing ever and we would not trade it for the world, but we have our moments that we really need to escape or think about "running away" Lately, I don't know what has gotten into my kiddos, they have been "fighting" as much as a 11m and 3 yr old fight, I guess?!?! Landrey is the sweetest person EVER to him and just these last few weeks and been getting upset at him and is now pushing at him:( It is exhausting staying on thee behaviors. I will pray for you as you go through this season. I have a journal and your name and family was in it and I want you to know that just last night, I prayer for you, you were not on my "list" that night, but you popped into my head as I was thinking about all the sweet babies or preggo moms I know. Bless you Sharla! Hugs!! Keep on going sweet momma, we all do the best we can, but it is so great that we have a new day tomorrow. Just this week, I told Landrey that mommy was grumpy and that I was chose joy in my heart and attitude, but I slipped up when I shouted at her. She yelled back at me in an attitudeful voice, mommy you are grumpy!! Wow! That got my attention. I had to apologize and work even harder to chose that joy that was slipping through my fingers.
Great post Sharla! Thank you for sharing your heart! I may need to get myself a copy of that book!
I wanted to cry right along with you. Micah is a very.difficult.child. There have been plenty of times I have contemplated putting him up for adoption, but then he always goes and does something sweet and I decide to hold off. HA! Sharla, you can do this. If it weren't for you (honestly!!!) I would have NEVER survived Leighton. You were such a support and cheerleader for me. I hope I can be that for you. Love you!
Hang in there, Sharla! Hugs to you!
I have tears Sharla!! Because I get it. I truly, truly get it! And those words are the best words to remember. I practically chant to myself daily, "it's a season, and this too shall pass." Maybe we need to get together and cry together, not alone. I am thinking of you and hoping the coming weeks bring some contentment to Gemma. I know weeks 4-10 were miserable for us, but it HAS looked up in the last 2 weeks. Lots of hugs to you! And if you ever want to get together, just let me know. My kids and I are abnormally used to a crying baby!
tears were shed when i read this post. thanks for being so open and honest...and vulnerable. God be with you during this time. We all have our own struggles, but I'm not going to say "I understand" b/c I don't fully know exactly what you're going through, since your own experiences belong only to you. And my experiences only belong to me. But thank goodness we have our Heavenly Father we can rely on. I missed seeing you while I was home in KS recently, but glad you didn't come to the boys bday party, b/c EVERYONE got sick afterwards. It doesn't sound like you needed sickness to add to your daily chores!! Love you shar.
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